He raised his leg and rrriiiipppp! Another one! It sounded like a diesel engine revving and smelled even worse than the last one. He had just started to feel better when another urge came on. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. At this point he was beginning to feel another fart coming on. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. So he went in and ordered three extra large helpings of beans. Since he still had several miles to walk he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he got home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he 'phoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on lke this" so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. One day he met a girl and fell in love with her.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
Illustrated by Betty Dont Submitted by: Bert Lechner on Sat Jul 12 17:09: : Smith on Sat May 10 12:08: :īooks that should have been written: 300 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makeit. How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off of his head. Submitted by: Thilakshan Jeyarajah on Mon May 5 13:02: : Jokes, Wit and Humor. "So he's the one who's been peeing in the fridge!" "He said that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "AHA!!" She exclaimed. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him. "Your husband's in fine physical shape, but I'm worried about his mental condition. I know for sure that I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The Doctor ask him, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom lights on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night." The Doc was concerned, "You mean, when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns the light on for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the Doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check-up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said. More Fun Stuff!Īn 80 year old man went for his annual check-up and the Doctor said "Friend, for your age, you're in the best shape I've seen." The old fella replied, "Yep.
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